"Letters to Mommy"

I mentioned a couple posts ago that I wrote "Letters to Mommy" for my final project in Writers Craft back in January and I posted it on JTF ! I decided for my first CHD Awareness week post I would post it. This is from the point of view of an 8 year old girl who has a CHD - comments are welcome!!!


~ Bobbie Jo


(Ps, JTF has 2,071 fans as of RIGHT now! Thanks everyone!)

Dear Mommy,
June 23, 2007
Today I overheard you talking to the doctor about me... you didn’t know I was listening. I was pretending I was asleep. They said I needed another heart surgery because a heart wouldn’t become available. Mommy, I’m scared and I know you are too. You try to hide it from me but I can see it in your eyes. Daddy’s at home looking after my brother and sister for a while... will be here for my surgery? When will it happen? What are they going to do? Will I die?

Mommy, I don’t like being in the hospital. I don’t like going in for surgeries. I don’t like staying in bed. I’m mad that I can’t play with my brother and sister outside in the sun, or go back to school. Why can’t I be normal? Why did I have to have a broken heart?

Are you mad because I’m not normal? Are you mad that I can’t go un-watched for more than 5 minutes? I’m scared that I may not get to see my 9th birthday, mommy. Will I get to? If I have this surgery, will it be the last? Please tell me it will be.

Mommy, why doesn’t Grandma come to visit me anymore? You have pictures of her and me when I was a baby right next to my bed. Is she mad that I have to be in the hospital?

Mommy, I’m scared. I love you.



Dear Mommy,
August 4th, 2007

I did it mommy! I had another heart surgery with no problems. I didn’t even cry this time. Aren’t you proud of me? I was happy to see Grandma there when I woke up. It made me happy. The doctors came in and told me I can go play in the playroom next week. Can I? I like the playroom here. It’s fun!
Mommy, when can I see Erin and Braison? Can they play with me in the playroom next week? I like it when they are here too. I miss them.

Thank you for getting me the teddy bear I saw in the gift shop when we got here. I love it. It’s so soft and cuddley.

The Doctors here to check on me. Mommy, I’m not as scared anymore. I love you.



Dear Mommy,
August 7th, 2007

Mommy, Mommy, Mommy! I got to see Braison, Erin, AND Daddy yesterday. I liked playing with Braison and Erin in the playroom.Daddy is staying here for a couple days with me. I like spending time with Daddy. Him and I read books, and we color, and we play games... and he talks the nurse into giving me extra jell-o because it’s my favourite.

The doctor’s told me that I was doing really good, mommy. Does this mean I get to go home and sleep in my own bed soon? I hope it does. I miss Mr. Snuggles, Blackie and Creamsicle. They are my favourite stuffed animals you know! Can you bring them back to the hospital for me?

Daddy brought in another game! I’m going to win again! I love you.



Dear Mommy,
August 28th, 2007

Mommy, I’m really tired today. The doctor said my stats aren’t normal, what does that mean? Will they be normal tomorrow? I don’t like it when they say they aren’t normal. It scares me, mommy. What will they do if they can’t change? Will I need another heart surgery? I don’t want another one mommy. I just had one last month. My scar hasn’t healed this time.

Guess what Mommy. The nurses brought my THREE jell-o’s today to make me feel better. They were even three different flavours! I was happy.

Thank you for bringing me my stuffies. I feel a lot safer now. I love you.



Dear Mommy,
September 19, 2007

I feel a lot better today Mommy. I’m sorry I scared you when I crashed. But you know the doctors here use magic to fix me every time! The nurses brought my popsicles today. I got a purple one this morning. A pink one at lunch and my favourite nurse brought me a rocket ship one this afternoon when she got back from her lunch break. She said she thought I deserved it!

I thought it was cool that Erin and Braison got to spend the night here with me last night. I miss them so much. Can they move in here with me so we can make forts and play princesses and the prince like before I was back in the hospital?

Is Daddy remembering to feed my goldfish? I love you.



Dear Mommy,
October 3, 2007

Mommy, what did the doctors mean when they said that they couldn’t fix me anymore? Did they run out of magic? Can they not fix me anymore because they have a new heart for me? Were you crying because they have a heart for me?

Mommy, I love you.



Dear Mommy
October 10, 2007

Mommy, why did you have to give me “the talk”. There is so much I wish I could still do. I’m going to keep fighting just for you, Mommy.

I’m tired now, I’m going for a nap. I love you.



Dear Mommy,
October 15, 2007

Mommy, I love you. I love Daddy. I love Erin. I love Braison. I love Grandma. I love Auntie. I love Mr. Snuggles. I love Blackie. I love creamsicle. I love Jell-o. I love stars. I love snow. I love playing games with Daddy. I love playing in the playroom here at the hospital. I love playing with Erin and Braison. I love coloring. I love rainbows. I love my goldfish. I love spaghetti. I love sleepovers. I love birthday cake. I love Doctor Nicholls. I love nurse Kassie. I love wheel chair races down the hall. I love swinging. I love singing. I love swimming. I love music. I love Disney. I love jokes. I love painting. I love pictures. I love soup. I love McDonalds. I love carrots. I love you.

I’m giving these letters to Nurse Kassie. She knows I’ve been writing them lately. I don’t want you to miss me. I want you to be happy.

You’re the best mommy a girl with a broken heart to ask for. You fought for me. You loved me. You colored with me. You cried for me. You spoke for me. You stay with me. You cuddled with me. You cleaned me. You me read me stories at night. You watched my favourite movies with me. You brought Braison and Erin to come see me. You let Daddy race with me down the hall in wheel chairs.

Tell Daddy I love him.
Tell Erin I love her.
Tell Braison I love him.
Tell Auntie I love her.
Tell Grandma I love her.

Please don’t forget, I love you